How Do I Deal With Homosexuality In My Family? - 10/05/2008

I know this isn't a question about a religion, but I'm finding as a Christian I am being forced to open my beliefs to include all sorts of things I have been taught are wrong. Ray Boltz just came out of the closet and hopes one day Christians will not look at homosexuality as a perceived sin. My sister just came out, and I don't know how to approach this whole thing from a Christian standpoint. Do I accept things as they are and say "anything goes" because Jesus loves sinners, or do I stand strong and risk my sister not speaking to me again? I am so torn. I really can't believe how much of this is going into the churches now, and how much tolerance for a lifestyle sin that Jesus told us was wrong. I know he loved sinners, but He asked them to change.
What is your opinion of God's view on gays int he church and how we should deal with loved ones?


Hi J.  My heart goes out to you and your family.  Having a family member announce that they are homosexual when you know it is an abomination before God is difficult to say the least.  You're absolutely right - Jesus loved sinners, but expects them to change.  We are instructed in the Bible to love sinners, but hate their sin, not condone it.  A person who is homosexual is, by definition, unrepentantly sinful.  In the church body, the church leadership must deal with homosexual members as the Bible instructs them to do with any member living in sin - confront, confront, confront.  And if the sinner will not repent, they must be expelled from the fellowship.  This has been the pattern Christ established within the first century body of believers and taught by the Apostles, and it should be the rule in any biblical church.  That doesn't mean we stop loving these people, but it does mean that sin has no part in the body of Christ.  As a family member of a homosexual, you must continue to love your sister with the love of Christ.  Make sure she knows how you feel though.  Make sure she knows you believe she is endangering her soul by living a sinful lifestyle without repentance.  If you want, share with her our articles on what the Bible says about homosexuality:
Another resource is Exodus International, which ministers to homosexuals as well as to families of homosexuals. I also recommend Stephen Bennett Ministries (Bennett is a former homosexual who is now married with children and a vital ministry). I was very disappointed to find out that Ray Boltz has given up and given in to sin.  This is why it's important that we not place Christian leaders and entertainers on pedestals that could cause us to lose faith if these people give in to the world.  Satan can masquerade as an "angel of light" (2 Corinthians 11:14), and too many people - Christian or not - buy into the deception.  If Satan was willing to tempt Jesus (a foolhardy endeavor, to be sure), imagine how willing he is to try to deceive Christ's human followers.  The Bible says that the devil seeks to deceive "the elect" (Matthew 24:24). 

Love your sister, J, but hate her sin.  Don't implicitly condone her sin by not mentioning your beliefs about it.  Let her know you will always love her, but you believe she is in spiritual peril by living a life of sin.  A friend likes to say that "Truth without love is too hard, but love without truth is too soft."  You shouldn't try to alienate her, but should also be willing to accept the fact that she may be angry with you for speaking the truth.  Seek His will in all you do.  May God reach your sister, sustain your family, and grant you strength and wisdom as you contend for the faith.

In Christ,

Ben Rast
Contender Ministries